There are energies at work that we don’t quite understand.
When I was young I had an intense feeling of unreality that would overcome me. Overcome is not the right word, really–it was a sensation both pleasant and strange. I felt time become something different and radiant. Everything was imbued with meaning in its exact form, and yet was formless.
I came to realize later that these little things that happened were flashes of insight into the nature of reality. These experiences happen when you get deep into meditation, but to a child (whose mind is not yet (as) clouded by discursive thought) they come naturally and with some regularity.
I’ve had all kinds of strange paranormal experiences, which I won’t share here at the moment. Every time I’ve done so I’ve felt a bit embarrassed–people are rightfully skeptical if they’ve never been privy to occurences that seem to defy the laws of physics and science. The unexplained opens up all kinds of problems for the modern mind.
I’ve had witnesses to some of the events I’ve experienced, so I know I’m not crazy. But I get the skepticism.
This is not about addressing the skeptics, however; this is just some free-flowing thought.
Aside from paranormal experiences which I’ve had no apparent control over, I’ve also had strange experiences when in meditation and afterwards. And after those experiences I dropped meditation even though the experiences were ultimately pleasant and beneficial.
Why? I don’t know. It seems there is some kind of resistance inside of me to embracing these things. The ego, maybe.
Creativity comes from the same wellspring, I think–these energies that move. Dreams, the meditative mind, the energies in the body, the energies around us, they all interplay. That thing that doesn’t want you to meditate no matter how good it is for you is the same thing that keeps you away from creativity.
After a long, long period of being away, I’m back to meditation.
Maybe this is what happens when you approach middle age. You start thinking more about your mortality, you start looking for real answers. Some guys buy a Porsche, some guys get into the half-lotus. Some guys, the luckiest ones, do both. (I’m not one of them.)